Of course, I’d rather not share my failings

Plenty of people want to present their best sides, strengths, and successes online. Frankly, I’ve done that, too. There are plenty of personal strengths and successes which I’m more than happy to share with others. Even this website shares many of them.

But ultimately, I know that I haven’t derived any of my strength or success from myself. I’m not the author of my story. In 1 Corinthians 12:9, the apostle Paul puts it like this:

But [God] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

As tempted as I may be then to present only my good side, I have plenty of downsides, weaknesses, and failures to share. I don’t boast in my weaknesses enough, and I especially don’t do it “gladly.” But considering the fact that my life is not about me, I need to engage in this type of confession more.

So, with that in mind…

Behold, my failures, weaknesses, and sin

• Working out is so freaking hard for me, even though I wish it was more natural

• I’m often terrible with budgeting at home, even though I’m good at it in a business context

• I can be impetuous

• It’s much harder for me to finish something than to start it

• I have done way too many things out of my own strength and trusted myself, often getting ahead of the Lord or not relying upon Him

• On the flip side of that, I sometimes wait on the Lord too long, rather than just doing what I know I should next

• I’m an expert at trying to avoid discomfort, especially emotions like sadness and anger, but this isn’t healthy

• I prefer to avoid confrontation altogether

• I don’t like ever admitting “I’m stressed,” even if I am

• I prefer not to share my struggles in the midst of them—it’s a kind of faux vulnerability

• I have often chosen optimism over faith, but they are not the same things

• I prefer talking more over listening well

• I can be impatient and become rude to people I love, as well as strangers, when things are not happening at the pace I expect

• While my dad never once raised his voice at me, the same cannot be said about how I’ve spoken to my children at all times

• I get fatigued and fed up with people who don’t change

• As much I desire otherwise, I have partiality and have been complicit in upholding systems in which I am the chief benefactor

• I have judged the speck in my brothers’ eyes while there are logs in my own

• I have struggled with viewing things I shouldn’t

• I have lied, coveted, and broken all sorts of other 10 commandments

• Ultimately, I have not treated others as I would want to be treated

Of course, there are countless more failings I have than these alone. But these are the ones that are top of mind because I run into them frequently. I fall short.

Just as it was for Paul, though, I praise God in my belief that His grace is sufficient for me. As much as I have failed and will continue to do so, I know that His resting power can only be made perfect in my continued weakness. At the sametime, I’m overwhelmingly joyful that His grace grants me not only pardon over sin, but power over it. I have also experienced this power firsthand, and I know it is the Life of Christ in which I now live. Thank You, Jesus!